In an effort to escape the record heat wave this last weekend, I did what all pragmatic Hasidic Warriors do: I turned on the air conditioning. And by "turned on the air conditioning" I mean I went movie hopping at the local theater and stayed all day long.
Even though I only paid for one ticket I was able to see many great cinematic masterpieces. The movie that stuck out the most was "Friends with Benefits", starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. It's highly entertaining and I enjoyed it...for the most part.
My only problem with the film is the same problem that I had with the movie "No Strings Attached", which featured Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman.
Both of these movies are unoriginal.
Now I don't mean unoriginal in the sense that they are cliched and unimaginative. That's hardly the case.
I mean unoriginal as in both of these movie ideas are stolen.
Stolen from whom you ask? From the great screenwriting Hasidic Warrior known as ME. That's right, Hollywood outright stole my sh*t.
Two years ago I was in Los Angeles and pitched my screenplay "Frenemies with Benefits" to various movie studios, producers and directors. It generated quite a bit of buzz and even Christopher Nolan told me he wanted to direct it.
The story was about 2 lesbian "friends" who have a love/hate relationship and try to escape from their troubled, caged lives.
Picture "Thelma and Louise" meets "Brokeback Mountain".
Now I know some of you are thinking that my screenplay isn't really all that similar to "No Strings Attached" or "Friends with Benefits." But what if I told you that I wrote the characters in my screenplay SPECIFICALLY for the 2 greatest lesbian icons who just HAPPEN to also appear in those movies and that they had originally committed to my film?
You got it, I wrote those parts for Ashton Kutcher and Justin Timberlake.
Now I won't get into the details about how my movie deal fell apart, but suffice it to say that it's just a sign of the times.
As you are all well aware, the movie industry has had a longstanding conflict between Hasidic Warriors and Scientologists for several decades now. Although some progress has been made (but now there is talk of moving back to the 1967 borders), the areas stretching from the West Hollywood Bank to the Sunset Strip are still hotly contested.
Physically, the Scientologists are no match for Hasidic Warriors and even the lethal Level 8 Scientologists pose us no difficulties. But in terms of the movie business, well, that is another story.
I've seen the careers of many Hasidic Warriors destroyed by Scientologists and every time I flip through channels and see something on the Lifetime Movie Network, I pour out a little of my drink for my homies who have fallen.
